A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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