I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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