I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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