Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize