haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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