You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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