I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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