Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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