I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize