YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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