I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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