I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My balls are so social today.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize