I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize