I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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