Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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