so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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