I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize