Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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