I think my vagina is haunted
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize