I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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