Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this just has baby written all over it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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