I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sober January is a disaster.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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