We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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