so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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