"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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