could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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