she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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