the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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