i jhust puked up my retainher.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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