frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
tell me about the eggs
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