I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize