and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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