You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
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I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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