somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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