I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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