either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think my fart just growled at me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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