So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
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One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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