i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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