she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
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be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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