when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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