FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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