I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize