Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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