Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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