my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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