Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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