and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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