Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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