I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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