Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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